Some say that when he saw Star Wars, he thought it was a documentary.
Some say his pubes are fibre optic...and his pee is pure nitrogen
Some say he has an oil pump instead of a heart, and that he can see in ultraviolet
Some say he never blinks and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves.
Some say he's wanted by the CIA and that he sleeps upside down, like a bat.
Some say that he appears on high value stamps in Sweden and that he can catch fish with his tongue.
Some say he is illegal in 17 US states and he blinks vertically.
Some say that his breath smells of magnesium and that his scared of bells.
Some say that he lives in a tree and that his sweat can be used to clean precious
metals.
Some say that his heart ticks like a watch and that his confused by stairs.
Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats and that he has two sets of knees.
Some say that his terrified of ducks and that there’s an airport in Russia named after him.
Some say that his skin has the texture of a dolphin’s, and where ever you are in the world if you tune your radios to 88.4, you can actually hear his thoughts.
Some say that he has no understanding of clouds - and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish delight.
Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground.
Some say that his tears are adhesive - and that if he caught fire, he'd burn for a thousand days.
Some say that he can swim seven lengths under water - and he has webbed buttocks.
Some say that his heart is in upside down - and that his teeth glow in the dark.
Some say that his ears aren’t exactly where you'd expect them to be - and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott.
Some say he has a digital face - and if he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar.
Some say that his genitals are on upside down. And that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds.
Some say his ears have a Paisley lining - and he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show.
Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburg ring - and that if you give him a really important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet.
Some say he invented Branston Pickle, and that if you insult his mother, he will head-butt you in the chest.
Some say that on really warm days he sheds his skin, like a snake, and for some reason he's allergic to the Dutch.
Some say that his first name really is 'The'; and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant including the cameramen.
Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and that long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs.
Some say that he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal.
Some say that he's a C.I.A. experiment that went wrong, and that he only eats cheese.
Some say that if you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as piccalilli. And that at this week's Brit awards he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand.
Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks. And that his crash helmet is modelled on Britney Spear's head.
Some say that he isn't machine-washable and all his potted plants are called Steve.
Some Say His testicles are made from Titanium and that his under-pants are carbon-fibre
Some say, he's actually dead... But the Grim reaper, is too scared to tell him.
Some say that all his pot plants are called Steve.. and that he has a life size tattoo of his face.. on his face.
Some say, that he once co-presented a Brazilian show about blimp disasters, and that once, he actually punched God.
Some say that he once killed a giraffe with just his feet and that he has a black belt in paper maché.
Some say He's contracted every STD known to man, and that he has inflatable breasts to get him out of speeding tickets. All we know.. is he's called the Stig.
Some say he sucks the moisture from ducks, and if you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as piccalilli.
Some say he has no understanding of queuing.
Some say his upper torso is made of carbon fibre... and that his blood is 1 part petrol and 2 part diesel.
Some say that he only uses q-tips made of plutonium, and that his favourite comedy film is Hostel.
Some say that he has the mating call of a killer whale, and that he once counted to infinite..twice.
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